Feylian's World » Elsa Volschenk

Of drinking wine for the kids

Feylian — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:24:18 +0000

It is wine festival time again /GRIN. El the Legend‘s church* has a yearly charity event where all gather to have wine, good food and excellent conversation. This year I have my own table.

Folk in attendance: CC, Delicious One, Rangineer, O the Metal Alchemist, Lovely Lila (MM‘s sister), Hot Divorce Lawyer & friend and a new edition: Dandylion (Ender‘s most recent ex) und friend.

I’ve been seeing quite a bit of Delicious One…hmmm. Perhaps if when he touched me I did not feel like an ignited trail of gunpowder, life would be somewhat easier, if far more boring.

I get to have cocktails with Delightful A and Beautiful Pagan Redhead from Tall Stories tomorrow /bounce. Intelligent, well read conversation with scavenged-from-a-royal-crypt-bone-and-some-dessicated-flesh-still-on-it-dry-humour ftw.

1. Word of the day: repudiate (TheSage: 1. refuse to acknowledge, ratify or recognise as valid, 2. cast off, 3. reject as untrue, unfounded, or unjust, 4. refuse to recognise or pay)

2. Insight of the day: When you love what you do, getting up is a joy beyond all measure.

3. State of the pool: Dom Pérignon

4. Random thought: A new blogger that shows promise: Pierre

5. Awesomest lines: I’m running out of these. Play Dead by Elsa Volschenk

Drain from me all remembering
that once meant you and I

Push me off the perfect platform
where you’ve placed me

Disarm me of all idle defenses
before I slay both our souls

Pull me back from elevation
as experienced by our touch

Descend with me into this darkness
that we’ve cultivated and

Purge me of all known bliss
so I can exist without you

6. Scripture lines: Psalm 119:64 (New International Version)

⁶⁴ The earth is filled with your love, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.

*:) Rocking ain’t it.

Of breathing and focus

Feylian — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 11:00:45 +0000

Perhaps once you had a ‘thing’ in your life where you found silence, peace and the true reminder of what it is to be alive. For me, it was small calibre shooting. .22 ftw. When I was there, I didn’t take it seriously. Oh, I got colours, but that was because for some ridiculous reason, I had inherent talent. Heaven knows it wasn’t because I applied myself. I was /BOUNCE in my every waking moment. Bams admitted to wanting to duct tape me and hide me in the bus on our SA’s in 1996. Bastard :) He had a point though. That was the only year that the North Transvaal team failed miserably. What can I say, I am a social lubricator and my Emma skills were WELL advanced even then.

How can I explain such joy? Yes, I was firing a rifle and for most of you the thought of such “violence” is abhorrent, but to us it was better than breathing. Actually it was breathing. Slow, oxygen rich blood mixed liberally with butterflies (flying in formation), teen angst and an atmosphere that you can only find on a small calibre range*. It was the closest to Zen our generation ever got. It was more than we knew. It was lying as still as you could for 4 x10 minutes at a time. And in those 10 minutes there was nothing but you, your rifle and the sweet waxy copper cartridge which meant single minded focus on getting it right. Getting it centre, getting a bull.

It makes us yearn even now. When life and sex and being grown ups has jaded us that focus, that drive, that achievement makes more sense than Kierkegaard or Kundera or e-tv.

I miss the confines of my jacket (which I stupidly sold…>.<) the belt around your arm anchoring your rifle to you and you to it. I miss the smell of gunpowder and that snick when the bolt engages the bullet…your entire purpose of being concentrated in just the tip of you finger…and then…oh and then, the ever so slight recoil and the knowledge of a good shot. Of aiming true and leaving barely a hole in the target. No lines crossed. When you have insinuated that tiny bullet through paper in exactly the place that makes your coach beam and blush with shared “look at that”.

1. Word of the day: redolent (The Sage: 3. serving to bring to mind)

2. Insight of the day: Tension headache + Voltaren = effortless writing

3. State of the pool: endless icy cold blue

4. Random thought:Very little tastes as good as being thin(ish) feels.

5. Awesomest lines: Canvas by Elsa Volschenk

Paint me our colour
with brush strokes that speak to you the words I do not utter.

Fill up all the white corners you’ve missed
and use up all the space to say it all.

But do not ask me to pick up a brush

My silence may belie my heart’s ache
but it will show my deepest love in bright red

This is the colour that I have chosen.

Soon it’ll change to green and I would have learnt to be without you

*Kleingeweer – Quiet, the smell of gun oil – a particularly non invasive and yet soul pervasive smell that to this day reminds me of innocence and doing something so well that all else fails – Highveld dust, a perculiar mix of sun soaked baking hot indolence and blue metal cold focus.

Of being tard* but so very happy

Feylian — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:17:53 +0000

I warn you now: this post offers the intellectual stimulation of watching a Love Boat episode with purple cotton candy wedged in your ears.

It has been quite a week. I’m so knackered I can barely see straight. I am not the biggest sleeper in the world but 15 or so hours in 4 days is not ideal *blearily wipes eyes*. I am however happier than I was with the previous post so that should tell you something :).

And still for all the same reasons.

This weekend should rule though. Going to the driving range with the Rangineer**, moving tomorrow morning, meeting up with Bambi and introducing one heart friend to 3 others (Brilliant Hungarian, CC and El the Legend) 2 more social engagements and then hopefully a very quiet and barely moving Sunday.

1. Word of the day: inherent (TheSage: 1. the nature of something though not readily apparent, 2. existing as an essential constituent or characteristic.)

2. Insight of the day: John Mayer will always make me happy.

3. State of the pool: Limpid, barely rippling

4. Random thought: Wharrgarble

5. Awesomest lines: Elsa Volschenk - Jungle

complete am I in the lushes hush that i’ve nurtured into being
at peace am i out here where i believe I will not be found

no need to grow, mature or evolve

out here i act my mock age and belie my years on this earth
for obsessed i will remain by childish things

juggling the mask
i am not willing to become but for the blessing of Love
set free am I by a truth bigger than this jungle of mine.

*Tired – from Infinite Jest

** I’m tired ok. But I still think it is a good name for an ex game ranger turned engineer.