Of the guilty pleasure of watching The Bachelor
It is Sunday afternoon and I am sitting on Rambo’s new couches, the breeze is cool and soothing and it feels like my soul is wearing a sundress.
And…here’s the clincher…I am watching The Bachelor. This is on par with eating a huge tub of chocolate mousse all in one go, delight, happiness-of-the-mouth and sticky chocolate fluffiness which results in girly guilt and green gilled biliousness. Also, not something you tell your intellectual friends or, well, any human with a heartbeat*.
As I have previously said, TV turns your mind into a small, floppy carrot. So as far as this show goes, after the marathon I’m watching, I believe that I will be communicating in speech bubbles which will contain cartoon like letters like “gnnnnhhhh”, “troz” and the always popular “ppffrrzzll”.
So before my kingdom turns into orange smush, let’s take a stab at opinionated methinks:
The creators of this show should be given an award for the insight they have into the schadenfreude the human race gets from watching such utter humiliation and adulteration, where after they are locked up forever and have Sylvia Plath shock therapy given to them. Or lobotomies. Such power should not be let rampant.
What the hell are these people/contestants thinking? This guy gets to make 15 women fall in love with him, knowing full well that he will obliterate 14-15 hearts…and these physically attractive ladiesĀ do everything in their power to be evil to each other and ever so purrrfect to this man that they know could potentially snap their selves. Yikes!**
That said, wooohoooo**! He has an identical twin which he wields in order to find out if the girls can distinguish which him he is. People, the producers of this show must have creamed themselves when they heard this. Can you think of better tv than this? And, oh yeah, the brother is married and gets to flirt with these prettinesses. So yay for extending said adulteration. How would you think his wife felt when watching this? Did she bask in the extended fame or did she beat him about the head a la Elin Nordegren ?
Oh my soul folks this is fascinating. The twin thing is working! It is brilliant tv. Some actually get it. The women who don’t get it must feel like utter fools. They are either self involved or just idiots.
There are some moments of heartbreaking honesty though. Some of these women are genuinely crushing hard on this guy. Maybe that is why this show is so addictive. The moments of real life is poignant and the bitchiness is freaking legendary.
Episode 3 is starting and I cannot help myself but watch for Deanna aka The Bachelorette***. Which makes me wonder if we adore personalities because we are forcefed by the media. No wonder you make it only if you have a well connected manager. But perhaps I will find out why she is so troz ggghhnnnn….
Ok that’s me. I can no longer think. Have an awesome Sunday.
* Y’all are fellow kingdoms not just mere mortals.
**2 shows into it…the prrffzzll is starting.
***Bless South Africa’s backwardness as all we seem to have is endless reruns.
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