Well. I am a bit of a mess right now. Not a /wrist type mess. More of an oh-hell-now-what tangled string buggerup.

I kissed a guy and I liked it*. I certainly did not plan for it, flirting sure, but then again I flirt with inanimate objects if there are no animate ones around so that is not saying much. I’d run into him every now and again but we were both married** so I thought nothing of the flicker of interest. The preceding evening, as is standard, was awesome as MM and The Original Camel Man are heart people and hanging out with them in that ridiculously beautiful place is balm for the soul. So a mixture of lovely food, good conversation and that incredible fireplace coupled with the unexpected, searing attraction…

Look. It is undoubtedly the addiction speaking loud and clear but dear lord that man can kiss…sheesh. He tasted of apples. So weird. We had the same food and drinks but he tasted of fresh, crisp Granny Smith apples. He cradled my skull and threaded his fingers through my hair and I melted. I wanted to drink him.

Now this is where things get complicated:

String 1: he is The Original Camel Man’s younger brother who is
String 2:  still pretty raw from his divorce.
String 3: Does physical attraction on that heart hammering level mean anything? In other words:
String 4: Was it just body stuff? If so, I’ve just made of myself a big fat liar*** as I told the lovely redhead photographer that I couldn’t touch him because the next guy I touched would be because we were on our way to getting married.
String 5: EEEEEK….marriage…*shudder*.
String 6: Was it maybe-love? See strings 1,2 & 5 as:
String 7: if you are pursuing someone/a relationship and you do not intend to commit, you are playing with hearts and that is stripping-skin-from-flesh wrong.
String 8: Should I call him? It seemed that he was electrified too but…
String 9: Gaaahhh…I hate feeling like such a girl. I really thought I was over this kind of crap.
String 10: I haven’t been kissed like that since…freak…ever. I lost almost all reason. Have you any idea what that feels like? Cell satisfying passion. Mitochondria happily waddling with closed eye joy, bumping into things because there is no moment but now.

Sigh. CC has a point though. There is only really 2 choices. Pursue it or forget about it. So of course I will just ignore it. Denial ftw.

*Shameless I know :) but I had to. And technically he kissed me but that would not have worked for the lame funny.
**Divorced now, obviously.
***Whenever I say that I think of a Simpsons clip where the newscaster says that he doesn’t want to imply that Homer is a liar and then shows a clip of him running around with his pants on fire…makes me giggle everytime.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm and is filed under Love or lack of love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.