Got “Where the light is” back. Haven’t listened to it in weeks. I am listening to Freefallin ‘without crying so that is good news :). Incredibly prophetic though. You tried to tell me but I only focused on your poems and the delirium of waking up to you and being so very much in love.

Is there a formula for when heartbreak has run its course? A week for every month of love? A month for every year? Loving someone seeps into your bones, drenches your soul. That person literally grows on/in you, so how do you eradicate any traces? Emotional surgery?

A broken heart isn’t so much a part of you as a phantom limb that still aches and itches. A phantom heart that was joined with yours, that skips beats and rushes blood through a body it no longer has any right to influence and yet does so with impunity and a lack of respect for any self preservatory choices the flesh heart has made.

I don’t think time heals anything so much as fills that missing-you space with noise. A new heartbeat will muffle the ghost echoes but the haunting will always remain.

I finally found out who she is. If only you’d told me. It is actually fubar funny. You ‘get’ me, I ‘get’ you we both ‘get’ hurt…give the dog a bone.

She went and married someone else and you have to be friends with the guy. I’m so sorry, love. I wouldn’t have been able to tell me either.

1. Word of the day: free falling

2. Insight of the day: I want to be holy as He is holy. Enough of this world.

3. State of the pool: wanting some hot rocks on which to splash and evaporate

4. Random thought: I really think my foot might be broken. Might make the Fanie Botha a bit more challenging than I originally thought.

5. Awesomest lines: If ever you need anyone kneecapped …*

ek wil jou spore volg
op teen die enkel bergpad
- hoe behep is my lyf
met die gedagte van jou
aanraking
en die reuk van
sandelboom wat nog
vasklou aan my klere

selfs in die daglig
jaag dit my

en as ek jou neerpen
vanaand, val die woorde
soos robyne
- en ek weet
ek het reeds myself verloën

forgive me Father
for I have sinned

© emma

6. Scripture line: 1 Peter 1: ¹⁵But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

* I wonder what she would charge

Recent Entries

• Of life recently of discovering a new (for me) poet
• Of Joni Mitchell
• Of working and snooping
• Of the new year and Dirt Music
• Of the guilty pleasure of watching The Bachelor
• Of marrying Twitter, Feedly and Google Wave
• Of teeth grinding frustration and the sheer awesome that is Google Wave
• Of stumbling down memory lane or how memory shapes personality
• Of beautiful girls
• Of total geekness

This entry was posted on Monday, March 16th, 2009 at 3:03 pm and is filed under Love or lack of love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.