May I hide in you please?

I’m in trouble, love. I’ve managed to lose Milo the German Shepherd. It might not sound like such a big deal but my landlord is a very rigid human being and the one thing that just about makes him kick the bucket anger wise is when I am careless. The trouble therefore is that I will probably have to find other lodgings for D and I.* This sucks more than you can imagine. I took only D’s things, our clothes and my books when I left. Which means ZERO in the line of furniture, crockery etc.** And moving back in with my parents…/shudder. Please do not let me see my 30^th birthday living with my parents.

It is one thing to be so unaware of your surroundings that you bruise metatarsals but it becomes a different ballgame when you could lose your home because of it. My carelessness has been the single cause for all the crap I’ve gotten myself into. I cannot do stuff like this anymore. I have a son to take care of. Just please pray that I just get a nasty dressing down and that I still get to live there.

It just makes me realise how little of a buffer I have. The only thing standing between disaster and D and I is my blithe assumption that it will all turn out ok in the end. I’m seriously considering guiding D away from reading fairy tales and stories. It has given me so rose tinted a view of the world that even warning-red looks squishy and like Valentines-heart-red and not Stop-You-Idiot-that-is-a-huge-truck-barreling-towards-you-red.

I have a tight, white hot ball of panic/worry/misery and I am feeling pretty lost and alone. Can you still pray for Divine Assistance when you are the cause of the problem? Does it count as a trial which will have Romans 5 kick in?

Word of the day: pule
Insight of the day: nothing is certain other than God’s love
State of the pool: cloudy brine trying pretty frantically to seep into the ground
Random thought: How much effort is it to colour rabbits?
Awesomest line: Thank you , Frank Herbert.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Scripture line: 2 Samuel 22:3 – 3 my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior….

* Which sounds harsh but I live with them and I’ve left doors unlocked before. He is security conscious for a very good reason. So it is understandable. Why share your home with someone if they can’t even take care of a dog? It rained last night and I don’t know if Milo is ok.

** It seemed like a brave/good idea at the time. In hindsight: not so much. Another classic example of carelessness.

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 27th, 2009 at 2:42 pm and is filed under YGM. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.